Standing impatiently at the cash register in Shoppers Drug Mart, trying to pay with a gift card I remembered was in my car, as I left my wallet at home but decided to grab something while my son was having a drink with the pharmacist… using my count in your head during your wait time to prove it isn’t as long as it seems strategy to keep calm (I rarely get to 120 seconds)…. the young “in training”, according to his tag, cashier, mistakenly rang in the gift card as a purchase and couldn’t figure out how to void it and then use it as my payment method. I looked at the people gathering in the line behind me, knowing they were wondering what was wrong, why not just use another card, what is happening up there, why is this person taking so long, what is wrong with the cashier, is another cash going to open, should I brave the self checkout etc… I found myself getting well above 120 seconds which is a rare occurrence and considered just leaving whatever I had there but I would lose my $50 gift card as the cashier wasn’t sure if what he did wiped the $50 off of it when he tried to reload it…. Christopher finished at the pharmacy and was waiting in the car; me, wondering if his impatience would lead to a public outburst and weighing my options about what to do now as I draw attention to myself there in my “work” clothes, not public servant office manager clothes as I have been on leave from that type of work for quite some time at this point … but my painting/reclaimed woodworking clothes, full of holes, a multitude of paint colours and maybe even saw dust from that days sanding, which I just took a break from for the quick daily jaunt to the drugstore with Christopher. I wasn’t planning to go in, just wait in the car for him but thought a quick run in to grab one thing was ok, the coat covered most of the mess and who really cares anyway right!?
I say I don’t care but obviously I would rather not run into anybody I knew in that kind of state. While I’m trying to make the young cashier feel OK and waiting for a manager to come help him out I see out of the corner of my left eye two women at the self check out; I think to myself … “wow, she looks a lot like an old high school friend of mine who recently lost her teenage daughter”… this friend lives in another province and I haven’t seen her in probably 20 years; it’s been even longer since I seen her sister who used to be one of my closest high school friends and who I “roomed with” at university in close quarter Blackall House living! We were really close in many ways but we lost contact over the years and I mean completely lost contact. Ever since I heard what happened I longed to see both sisters and give them huge hugs… thinking about the loss of daughter/niece … the loss we’ve narrowly escaped many times in our family and still a constant fear for us. While still waiting for the cashier to figure things out I was distracted by these thoughts … my impatience turned to patience as these thoughts helped me realize being seen at Shoppers during my son’s daily trip there in my saw dusted dingy work clothes, drawing attention to myself and holding up a line up of people was really not that big of a deal.
I continued to look at the two women at the self checkout and I realized “it is her” it’s the old friend who lost her daughter there with her mother who still lives in Gander. I left my troubled cashier went over and gave her that hug… she then tells me her sister, my old “bestie” as the kids would say nowadays, was out in the car waiting for them. I explained I was held up with something but if they didn’t mind waiting, I would love to see her…. hoping they would wait… a little apprehensive as I wondered if seeing me was as special to her as seeing her was to me… what the reaction was going to be after 20, maybe even 25 years since we’ve seen each other… trying to recall why we lost touch… probably some immature reason, something young stupid us saw as much bigger than it really was. Excited to see her, hoping even more now the cashier would be quicker… then I remembered Chris waiting in the car just after getting his methadone, his impatience and the risk of his unpredictable behaviour at times in public fills me with anxiety… “please Chris don’t ruin this moment if my old friend is still waiting to talk to me”…. an off-duty Shoppers cashier who is in the long line up my gift card mix up caused, leaves the line up and comes up and fixes the problem! I rush out and stop to talk to my long-lost friend; hugs and laughs and sharing…. it was so good to see her…. so good to see someone that I was that close to and completely lost contact with after all these years… we shared such special times… so many “firsts” … adolescence… milestones… coming of age times … we stayed outside the car talking for quite some time. It was great to hear they were home because their niece just had a baby, exciting happier times for their family.
Talking about old times, catching up on what’s going on in each other’s lives and lots of laughs and smiles in the parking lot encounter was great. The whole way home in the car you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I shared memories with Christopher about old times with her… I don’t know why I didn’t say we should get together while you are home, let’s have coffee or drinks or something. I was so happy, so happy to have seen the friend I shared that tiny university room with, less than three feet separating us as we slept at night. As small as the rooms were and as cramped as the institutional cement walls were, we thought it was fabulous; living on our own with a bunch of friends… no parents… freedom… come and go as we please…. finally getting the independence we so longed for in high school… we had so much fun! I don’t know how you can be that close to someone, share so many important times with yet go 25 years without talking to… but I do know when you share that kind of bond it stays with you, I was so happy to see that bond was still there; happy to learn she was still teaching, a career path we both chose but I left way too early and happy to hear she shared stories about me with her grade 6 students! I know I longed to see her since the tragedy that happened in her family’s life, I know I thought about them often as I live with the fear of losing my own child, I know their grief helped, no, helps me appreciate every living moment with Christopher no matter how hard things get, I know I resented having to leave my woodworking that day to bring Chris to Shoppers… that quick little daily trip which reminds us of his addiction and harder times, I know I was frustrated with the mix up at the cash, I know my mood would have been ruined that night had I not run in to my old friend, I know life is too short to hold grudges, lose touch with people you’ve loved or wait for tragedy and chance encounters to hug your old “bestie”.
Christopher didn’t lose patience that night, I forgot I was in such a mess once I started talking to my old friends and I won’t ever care about long line ups and “in training” cashiers again!
Over Half Way 