Last week I was part of a production of the Vagina Monologues, Eve Ensler’s play based on over 200 interviews with a diverse set of women about their vaginas. The experience was rather enlightening… my older brother says, “Yes Joanne, that is what it’s original intent was”. He was being sarcastic, he knew I meant enlightening in a different way than the original intent.
I was eager to participate right from the get go and had no reservations about the content or material in this 20 year old play. Our production, in small town Gander, NL, included 17 local women sharing the monologues. My enlightenment came in the transformation that happened within the group and discussions that followed with family and friends about the production. In my opinion, only about half of us were completely comfortable from the first rehearsal. As time went on and practices progressed, many conversations ensued about vaginas and I learned a lot about myself and others. On performance night there was no way to tell which women started out apprehensive or uncomfortable. Even our director who was spelling out c-u-n-t instead of saying the word during rehearsals, yelled “CUNT” to over 300 people in the end. I can not express enough how grateful and proud I was to be part of this fabulous group of women.
To me, it was a shock to learn people were still uncomfortable talking about the subject matter. My 70+ year old father couldn’t believe our Director found 17 women willing to get on stage and talk about “that stuff”. “That stuff” has existed since women have been here on earth; “that stuff” has been exposed and talked about for years; “that stuff” is as real and just as much a part of us as any other body part. In this day and age, it seems unnecessary to draw attention to these stories but I clearly learned I was wrong during this experience.
This is International Women’s Day, “International Women’s Day (IWD) has occurred for well over a century, with the first IWD gathering in 1911…” (internationalwomensday.com)
I’ve always pondered the women’s rights movement, all rights movements, I guess. To me, it is all about “people’s rights” or human rights. I would think if we all believed in human rights then isn’t it redundant to draw attention to rights for specific reasons? Why do the stories in the Vagina Monologues still have such an impact today? Have we not progressed beyond the shock of talking about the vagina….. wow, there’s an example of how little we’ve progressed…. I just mistyped the word by only one letter, “vaigina” and spellcheck didn’t even suggest “vagina” as a correction. Even spellcheck is afraid of the word, vagina!
During preparation for the Vagina Monologues I had some interesting conversations. Yes there were some silly comments, especially from my husband, Jason and adult son, Christopher in the beginning, there was the defensive, “How about the penis monologues?”; the resentful, “Why do you have to do the lesbian dominatrix monologue?” and the embarrassing, “Mom stop rehearsing in front of me it’s traumatizing”; but by the end I ended up having meaningful debate and deep conversations about topics, feelings and opinions that most likely would have never been discussed with the people they were discussed with, if it wasn’t for my participation in the Vagina Monologues …. and my husband warmed up to my dominatrix role, helping choreograph what I should do with a rope during my performance!
In university (almost 30 years ago) a professor said I had a “finely honed sense of self evaluation”; I didn’t really know what it meant at the time. I do now, of course and I don’t know about “finely honed” but I do a lot of it and I rarely surprise myself, so it is a lot of fun when it happens. I believed lifelong learning to be more knowledge and skills based learning. So, when an experience such as participating in the Vagina Monologues had such an impact on my beliefs, values, opinions and relationships it was pleasantly… no, ecstatically… surprising and appreciated. I guess my ego is still quite healthy, as I was in shock to learn new things about me and my values. I thought I knew all there was to know about myself… lol. I truly was excited about the feelings I had and invited the change of personal opinion with complete acceptance. Don’t get excited Jason, I never said I was wrong, just that I stopped questioning something. The experience of getting to know “Gander’s Vagina Crew” and discussing the production with family and friends solidified my opinion on rights movements, they are still needed. People still need to hear the details of specific struggles in order to understand other’s plights. It is from the sharing of details from personal experiences we learn to feel empathy, gain respect, understand behaviors, shatter bigotry and change society.
Participation in the Vagina Monologues had a profound impact on me. I believe the impact it had on me may have been different than it did on most others. My impact didn’t come from the monologues themselves; as powerful as they are, that impact happened many years ago when I first saw this play; my impact came in the participation as a performer and the learning from other’s reactions around me. Imagine, learning from real people during real life experiences…. “novel concept”, in our knowledge and resource-based world.
When I recently told a close friend of mine, I was going to blog about my personal experiences, he said he didn’t agree with sharing personal stuff in public the way I do. I’ve always been an open book (sometimes, to my detriment) and others have told me time and time again how I have helped or inspired them by sharing… so I am plugging on with my personal blog. I respect not everyone wants to share their lives publicly…. but there’s no way anyone can tell me sharing personal experiences doesn’t lead to deeper understanding and empathy; and hopefully, a more tolerant, respectful society.
You don’t need to question the difference personal sharing makes to others understanding better; just read this statement,
Women have been gang raped during times of war. Forever living in fear and never getting over the pain that comes with it. The emotional and mental consequences of rape victims are horrific and last a lifetime.
Versus the sharing of a personal experience to FEEL the impact of sharing details,
“… Not since the soldiers put a long thick rifle inside me. So cold, the steel rod cancelling my heart. Don’t know whether they’re going to fire it or shove it through my spinning brain…. Six of them, monstrous doctors with black masks shoving bottles up me too… Not since they took turns for seven days smelling like feces and smoked meat, they left their dirty sperm inside me… I became a river of poison and pus… my vagina… they invaded it. Butchered it and burned it down. I do not touch now. I do not visit…” (My Vagina Was My Village from The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler)
I wanted to end there but I can’t end with that quote and not give a HUGE shout out to our only two female Town Councilors, Deputy Mayor Tara Pollett and Gina Brown who shared this emotionally difficult monologue and did a tremendous job. Tara, who was one of the apprehensive ones in the beginning, delivered her lines with such emotion on performance night I teared up even though I heard and read it several times before; and Gina, in the middle of breast cancer treatment during rehearsal and performance dates still committed to this very worthy cause. Also, on International Women’s Day a huge thanks to them for serving on Town Council; first time in almost 20 years our Town had two women around the Council table at the same time!
… and last but not least, to our Director Michele Dove, along with Royal LePage Turner Realty thanks for bringing the Vagina Monologues to our little town and supporting Cara House and the Women’s Centre.
Extra: On International Women’s Day, see letter to editor about female representation on Gander Town Council I wrote in 2008, republished in 2017 and still true today.
Over Half Way 
Bravo! On both your performance and your blog. I just came from the store where I was stopped and congratulated on our performance but was also asked if there was back lash. One would hope, that if someone was offended, it would be by statistics of genital mutiliation in 5 year olds, beating and killing of members of the LGTBQ+ community and not in how a bunch of grown women name their body parts. One would hope it would be by the need to fund raise for our Cara House women’s shelter and to collect food for food banks in Gander. One would hope, through continued talk and thought we will continue to educate and help others understand. Bravo again on bringing your 3 generations of men into the conversation. You’re a tough act to follow. Diane
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wow, the fact that you were asked that proves what I was saying….
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Really enjoyed reading this, well done.
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